Shit my kids say part 4…

Okay. If I've learned anything over the past year or so, it's that teenage boys are the funniest creatures alive. The stuff they say…while often not politically correct is generally pee your pants worthy. And seeing as I tend to have numerous teenage boys at my house, I'm never at a loss for something to laugh at.

Scenario. We driving home from the movies. A friend of the boys came along and his dad was picking him up. Now the kid's old enough I didn't need to babysit him while he was waiting for his lift, being summer it's still light out with lots of families milling around the theatre and his dad was going to be there in five so...we headed off. Yeah, I felt a bit guilty but this kid was all... please go. I'm old enough to sit on a bench for five minutes in daylight. He had a point.

Anyway, we're driving home and stop at a by-pass road for a red light. The traffic light that's currently green turns yellow, but I see this beige truck gun it to make it through the light. I'm thinking... wow, that guy's pushing his luck. And sure enough it's red by the time he enters the intersection. Well I damn near die when I see the kid's dad, Mike, turning left in the same intersection as this truck speeds through. I swear to god they missed hitting each other by mere inches.

I totally gasp and say... oh my god. And here's the conversation from there.

Jared: What's wrong? 

Me: Did you see that? Mike totally just missed getting hit by that truck.

Kyle: Yeah, I saw that. He was pretty lucky. That was really close.

Me: I was just thinking, man that guy is lucky we're stopped or he might get hit and damn, he just about got Mike. He really would have gotten T-boned.

It's quiet for a few seconds before Kyle sighs and turns to me, shaking his head...

Kyle: Now, if we've learned anything from those Final Destination movies it's that in two weeks, that same truck is going to get Mike when the guy misses another turn and drives straight through Mike's living room wall. Poor Mike…

I damn near peed my pants. Yes, that's my boy. But he continues...

Kyle: I think they have too many of those movies. Final Destination 87 really disappointed me. The acting just wasn't there. And it's like they know it's coming for some reason.

I'm still laughing at this point...

Jared: Yeah, it's like the Saw movies. Saw 15…It's going to be like a five minute movie. The scary guy traps all these old people and says "Want to play a game?" They all scream then he breaks out the Chinese Checkers...and it fades to black.

Yes, these are my children. It didn't get any better for the rest of the ride home...