Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Conspiracy Theory...


Okay, I'm not one to believe in conspiracies and the such, but I swear there's one going on here that's determined that my children will not get to school on time, so help them God!!!

Here's a bit of background....
We live in a rural area and my kids take the school bus into school in the morning. Now it comes really damn early, like seven freaking thirty early, but for the first half of the year, we all drag our butts down to the bus stop, because it's the only way I know my kids will get to school on time. Yup, look at their report cards and all those "late" dates are the few times I actually drove them in.

Well, as it goes, winter sucks with it being so damn dark out that early in the morning, so usually the kids get a brief reprieve from said bus for December, and sometimes a few weeks in January... but this year, that reprieve stretched over about three months... care to guess how many "lates" we have? Yeah, I think we've set a new record at thirty and climbing...

Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like we don't get up, or ready, but I swear as the sun is round, there are greater factors at work preventing us from getting out of the house on time. Whether it's an emergency trip to the bathroom... I'm told when ya gotta go, ya gotta go... or someone suddenly can't find shoes or one of the damn cats gets out and hides under the car, we just can't get out that door on time.

Fast forward to today. My kids have just missed two weeks of school because of our emergency trip back to Toronto for my mom. Then they get yesterday off because, well hey, it's a PD Day. So this morning I was going to put their butts on the bus, but we had a boy staying with us who can't ride the bus (that is a blog all it's own, I assure you) and I had to go in and take hot lunch orders... yeah, I'm a lunch lady, I know... I know.

Anyway, I get up early and run the dog so she'll be happy and won't decide to eat my house when I leave her alone because I'm going grocery shopping after dropping off the kids. I put her outside, while the kids are grabbing their books and shoes, figuring she needs a few minutes of private time for bathroom duty (this dog won't go anywhere but my house...it's a curse and a gift) I get all the kids strapped in, and we're on time to arrive about fifteen minutes early. A new record for us, I assure you. Then I simply ask my eldest son to put the dog in the house and we're off... well this is where the Late Gods bless me with more shit...the dog has gotten out of the yard and is now roaming the neighbourhood.

Now I might have considered just saying 'screw the damn dog' but I'm an animal lover and can't stand the thought she might get hurt. A few streets over backs onto the highway, so.... You guessed it, I drag the kids out and tell them to start scouring the neighbourhood. Oh, yes, we find lovely Bandit.. yes that's her at the top looking oh so innocent, the little wrench... fine and more than happy to see us. She immediately comes to me, jumps in the car and all is well, except now the kids are already five minutes late, and we haven't even left the damn house!!!

It's a CONSPIRACY. I swear. The Late Gods have chosen to bless me with their power and I can't help but wonder if I'll ever be able to drive these kids to school without being late. Guess we'll find out tomorrow... more hot lunch stuff so another trip in. God help me.

Romancing life...one adventure at a time.


  1. LOL! Oh honey, I am SOOOOOOO sorry, but that's hilarious.

  2. Yes, Bron my sweet. As you are blessed with misreading signs and are, in fact, flypaper for freaks, I'm blessed with not being able to leave the house on time, so help me God!!! I swear it's some kind of super power I have...you wanna be late, just come to my house. But hey, as long as it brings some folks a laugh or two.

    thanks for stopping by.